Wednesday, July 9, 2008

No bloggers, no cry?

It is too irresistable not to make the following suggestion arising from MALAYSIAKINI: No bloggers no cry?. This is actually a proposal for the consideration of the BN strategists who appear to be in despair and, in sixes-and-sevens over the phenomenon of bloggers who tend to be less than sympathetic to the BN view of the world.
Option 1
Make the economy grow as fast as possible, say 16% GDP growth per annum for the next 10 years. This will enrich all M'sians, even bloggers, to the point that all bloggers want to do is to blog about their travels, fine dining and new experiences in life.
Option 2 (to be considered only if Option 1 is not possible)
Set aside RM100 million from the slush fund (you know it's there, c'mon!). Identify M'sian political/current affairs bloggers who have reached 1,000,000 hits. With great discretion and circumspection (NOT circumcision!) get 3rd parties to approach these bloggers with offers of assignments. Let me give examples:-
Rocky - get a foreign publisher of magazines or newspapers to hire him and assign him to report on African matters IN Africa. The contract should be for 2 years (minimum). RM1,000,000-00 gross should set the package right.
Susan Loone - ditto, except in South America.
Haris Ibrahim - get an international human rights body to appoint him as a general counsel for human rights in, say, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkmenistan and other "go-stan" areas. Same package, same time-frame.
The list goes on. But you get the picture. (P.S. add Patrick Teoh too. NIAMAH is slightly below 1,000,000 but his rants are quite terrible and too sarcastic. Give him some acting and stage production gigs in Los Angeles or New York. It HAS to be those places because as an actor he can be a prima donna at times.)
So, just keep everyone as busy as possible with new livelihood and new directions. Money has a way of moderating people's viewpoints. And, if we do it in a dignified and meaningful way that is still consistent with their principal interests and calling, then the end result is the "strategy for the neutralisation of political bloggers".
Don't worry that this Memo is out in the open for now. Wait another 3 to 6 months, people will forget. Malaysians mudah lupa. Then, you can implement it.


Patricia said...

I like Option 1 best of all!

And what about RPK? No ideas about what we do with him when all is well and good, and we have nothing to gripe about?



CT Choo said...

I did consider RPK (who is a pillar to us all). Honestly, I couldn't think of how to "compromise" him!

ben said...

Hehehe ! Your earlier article It's the economy, stupid!" sums it up nicely.

Anonymous said...

this made me laugh

you wrote: "Money has a way of moderating people's viewpoints. "

i agree.

CT Choo said...

Glad to have brought you a laugh in these bleakish times, Jed.

susan loone said...

"I did consider RPK (who is a pillar to us all). Honestly, I couldn't think of how to "compromise" him!" - ct choo

And you could think of how to compromise me? Shame on you!


CT Choo said...

Oops! It was a "guesstimate". And, yes, I do feel ashamed for leaving such strategies for BN people to pick up at no charge!